What is in a Name?

As is always the case in adoption, things move much slower than you'd expect/hope that they would.  SO, Little Man's adoption will hopefully (in my Pollyanna mind) be finalized by the end of December but in the real world will probably happen more like the beginning of January.  Part of that process is choosing his name.  When we first began talking about adopting him, we were dead-set against renaming him.  
There was no reason to do it and we didn't really care one way or the other.  Then we talked to some much wiser friends who have traveled this road before us.  They had changed the names of their two foster-adopted kiddos for safety reasons.  They didn't want their kids to ever be found by the bio parents who are criminally dangerous.  Trust me, despite my advocacy for first family reunification/preservation, there is no way I would ever advocate for this particular reunion {{SHUDDER}}.  Anyway, they encouraged us to consider changing Little Man's first name, if only on paper, to ensure that Willa would never find him.  We could always keep his original name as a middle name and still call him that.  

We discussed it with our caseworker and his DHS caseworker and they were both in staunch agreement that his name should be changed for his privacy.  Although Guitar Hero and I felt it was important to keep calling him by his original name.  With his learning problems and the trauma of his removal, we wanted him to have a connection to who he is.  Despite our insistence that he maintain his original name (with a slight spelling modification for phonetic clarity), both caseworkers kept challenging us to talk to him about his preference and even encouraging the complete name change.  GH and I dismissed it.

Tonight, with the adoption looming, I found myself finishing up dinner with just Little Man at the table.  Everyone else had scurried off for bathtime.  I took the opportunity to explain to him about the adoption and to tell him what his new name will be.  I then told him the new first and middle names and, without hesitation, he exuberantly declared that he wanted to be called by the NEW first name.  WHAT?!  The kid who had taken such pride in his name for all this time wanted to change his name?!  I asked him 5 different ways and his decision never changed.  Since he has trouble processing information correctly, I really wanted to make sure he knew what he was talking about so I kept asking until he started to get annoyed and then I marched him upstairs to tell his dad and he STILL owned the new name.  

That's when all hell broke loose.  We didn't see it coming.  It totally blindsided us...Bean and Little Drummer Boy were not remotely, at all, in any way shape or form on board with this name change.  While Little Man bounced around owning his new name with great pride, LDB and Bean were arguing the case for name preservation like it was a final hour death penalty appeal in front of the Supreme Court!  There were tears and demands and passionate pleas and GH and I were caught completely off-guard.  All the while Little Man and Roadie cheerfully proclaimed the new name up and down the hallway like they were angels announcing the Messiah's birth to shepherd's keeping watch over their flocks by night.

We tried to explain to them the importance of respecting Little Man's wishes and supporting him no matter how surprising it is but they were hearing none of it and we finally sent them to separate corners of the upstairs to cool off while I called Grammy in Florida for some back-up.  Bean talks to her every night and I knew she would talk the Bean off of any ledge when we couldn't.  But, if I was ever doubting myself, Little Man came downstairs to show me the MagnaDoodle with his new name written on it (with GH's help, of course).  He was positively beaming from ear-to-ear.  I guess he'll be getting a new name...no matter what anyone else thinks.